When Men Tell Women That They Shouldn’t Compare Themselves To Other Women

Julie He
2 min readSep 2, 2020
Two female friends hugging each other (https://unsplash.com/@holliver)
https://unsplash.com/@holliver

It’s a funny time, when men put women down for saying they are not like other girls.

I agree, it’s not cute that a women that is putting down other women for being a “girly”, or liking typically “girly” activities or “girly” objects. When women tell a man they are different to other girls because they aren’t impressed by flowers, a teddy bear etc.

This does not in any way mean a man can turn around and put the women who is saying that down. I’m sorry, but there is enough expectations from men, on women that is harmful, and now because a women has told a man that they aren’t like other girls is being told that she is not cool. By a man.

To men: have you ever considered that maybe she just said these things to not compare herself to other women, but actually just because she does not like those things?

Just because a women has told you she does not like to go for fancy dinners, does not mean that she is comparing herself directly to these other women and subconsciously telling you she is better than them?

Maybe consider that. That a woman is not always trying to impress you. She can have her own thoughts and feelings on what she dislikes and appreciates. Please, take your narcissistic idea of every women talking to you is trying to impress you stance, and just look at the world in a different way.. for once.

It is true that there are times when a woman in particular is trying to gain compliments, self esteem by telling herself that she may be better than others based on her choices. Men do exactly the same thing. We are all humans, sometimes we just need a little bit of reassurance that we are doing ok in the world compared to others. Comparison is a natural instinct.

So please, men stop telling women to stop comparing themselves, we know you do it too.

The only reason women may be telling you that they enjoy something compared to other people/women are maybe just that she either feels exactly that way or is attempting to change the perception of her to you. So what?

Stop telling her that she should not, she can do whatever the hell she wants.

Again, MEN, imposing their views of how a women should conduct themselves onto us.

Do better.

Also, women who put other women down, I am not cool with, but let them figure it out. Women should speak up to other women. So, also do better.

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