Coming From A Broken Relationship Where Your Trust Is Constantly Tested And Broken Leaves You Scarred.

Individual staring at the sunset

It certainly left me with questions about myself. Your self worth is questioned when a person destroys you. Each person’s experience of brokenness will differ. You can be broken by a number of people — anybody who you trust can break that. For me, it was a partner. Though, it really doesn’t matter who it is. The feeling is all the same, the questions are all the same.

Growing up, nobody tells you that your self-worth shouldn’t depend on other people’s opinions of you. As a child we’re so dependent on other people, our parents, our friends, our grandparents, that it’s almost ingrained in us to be likeable so people will want to be around us, love us, help us. Your self worth is entirely dependent on other people’s opinions of you, because of your dependency on them.

It’s a difficult transition, and a transition some of us never fully realise. Some people will never disassociate their self-worth from other’s opinions of them. Those who are addicted to high achievement and accolades to be noticed. Those that help others out to feel good about themselves. It’s not wrong. These people are probably wonderful people, but finding internal fulfilment in a life possessed by accolades and helping people to make yourself feel good may come with a heavy price to pay.

I’ve now realised at a ripe age of 26 that fulfilment on your own, ebbs and flows. Just as everything else in life. The different chapters of your life provide different challenges and with that different feelings about ourselves. The one positive about finding fulfilment on your own, is that the transitions in these chapters become easier when you are truly fulfilled by your own company. New chapters come with losing people, finding people, losing jobs, finding jobs, losing passions, finding new passions. If you are sure of yourself and fulfilled, your inner monologue allows you to speak positively to these perceived hardships. Days are hard, but you find the strength to speak to yourself kindly to navigate your way through the hardship.

I hope you find the time to sit down with yourself and speak about your past situations, your current situations. Nobody is ever going to provide you with the time and space to truly listen to you, only you have the full ability to listen to yourself without interruption. Determine your self worth based on your inner monologue outside of others opinions.

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